can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
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