You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize