She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
