My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
