It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Text me some of your sweat
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
