Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
FUCK WHALES
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