dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
only if we run a train.
done.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
