that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
