Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Randomize
