just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Shame - the story of my life.
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