tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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