Don't you send me to vm
I've blown a few things in my day
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize