my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize