i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
