i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize