I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
