We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
