he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
