I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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