just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
