You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
