My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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