As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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