i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
