nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
