I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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