I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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