I swear she didn't look like that last week.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
