we have pet lesbian snakes
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
