Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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