I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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