I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
