So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
