I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
