I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
