Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
