What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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