There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
