Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
did you just send me my own nude
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
