i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
