discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
