do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
