Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
