you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize