I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
he just fucked me for my cheese.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
