I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
