i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I have aggressive nipples.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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