Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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