i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
