ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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