I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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