Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
