Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
