somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
