Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
